28 August 2021 by Mondo2.0

Our children? “Digitally drunk”

To put it bluntly, for about a year and a half our children have been, also because of the pandemic, in the middle of a gigantic technological binge: true “digital drunks”. Research carried out by Generazioni Connesse, the Italian Safer Internet Center (coordinated by the Ministry of Education), edited by Skuola.net, the University of Florence and La Sapienza University of Rome, states that 6 teenagers out of 10 say they spend more than 5 hours a day on the Internet.

One young person in five describes themselves as “always connected”

Many factors have constantly fueled this “digital dependence”:

The reduction in opportunities for socialization—at school, outside school, in sports, family and friendship contexts—has further relaunched the Internet.
The low-cost spread and massive use of platforms such as Netflix, Disney+, Amazon Prime Video, … and the consequent sequential viewing for many hours of entire series or films, through different devices in any part of the home.
The very frequent use of social networks, with an extension, as the data show, of the hours of use until reaching “complete availability” online.
The lowering of the age at which the first smartphone is owned.
The increase in responsiveness in use and, consequently, in the quantity of digital information “ingested” every hour. With a consequent decrease in interest in stimuli from the real world, which have less impact, are less dynamic, less fast, “more boring”.

“Our” children—children, pre-adolescents, adolescents—live a dual reality:

On the one hand, the real world, which because of the pandemic context has offered an extremely limited number of stimuli, experiences and peers with whom to share them directly.
On the other hand, the virtual universe, the Internet, increasingly rich in information, contacts and easily accessible multimedia content. To watch, interact with, and use to express oneself. A context where, by learning a few rules and with a little boldness or charm, one can achieve immediate and extraordinary popularity.

Being a parent in the midst of a digital revolution, accelerated by a global pandemic, with quarantine situations and limited freedom, is not easy at all.

Let us be clear: we at “World 2.0” are “those” in favor of the network, physiologically optimistic from a technological point of view. The new generations “must” be digital. But the change under way is so broad, radical and rapid that some doubts have inevitably arisen.

A parent “in 2021” can, in the real world, rely on their own experiences, personal memories and educational principles received from their parents and teachers. In the virtual world this transfer of experience is not possible. When “we” parents were children there was no Internet, no smartphones, no Netflix, no WhatsApp, TikTok, YouTube, …

To complicate things further, there is “our” digital divide.
We parents often do not know how to make the best use of digital spaces and services.

This partial or total “digital illiteracy” does not allow us to understand usage dynamics, leads us to underestimate our children’s use of these tools or, conversely, creates excessive mistrust. We are literally “fish out of water”. Our use of Social Networks is limited; we often tend to perceive the video screen as a sheet of paper, we fail to understand hyperconnections, positive aspects and traps. We do not see the multimedia nature inherent in the network. Online we interact “only” with people we also know in the real world.

Moreover, the smartphone is designed and perceived by everyone as an extremely personal tool.

“I” use “my” smartphone, share “my” posts, read “my” chat. This total identification of one’s “self” online through the smartphone produces significant distortions of use in adults, let alone in younger people. Even children, who are often given “their own” smartphone between the ages of 8 and 9, see this tool and everything that follows from it as extremely personal, outside the sphere of action of their parents.

What should we do? Gradually apply simple rules, accompany our children occasionally while they use electronic devices online, show interest in their virtual experiences and successes

Explain to our children that the smartphone is not their property and can be used only if certain rules are respected. If this first concept is clarified, and often repeated, half the job is already done. It limits the dependence of one’s “self” on the tool and therefore on the digital space.
Explain clearly when and how to respond to notifications on “our” smartphone. It is not necessary to interrupt what one is doing to respond to the phone’s beeps.
Add a few simple rules. Among these, perhaps the most important is “You do not sleep with your smartphone”. The smartphone must stay elsewhere, not in the bedroom. It is not a teddy bear. The sleep cycle must in no way be affected by the smartphone’s beeps.
Check the number of episodes (and hours) spent on on-demand platforms. It is not reasonable to spend 5 or 6 hours watching episodes on Netflix (or elsewhere).
Ask who they are talking to online, whether they have made new acquaintances, and take an interest in virtual friendships just as in real ones. If our son/daughter has to go and study at a friend’s house we ask about it; in the same way we must check, without exaggerating, what happens online. We repeat: without exaggerating.
Have them tell us about successes and failures online, just as we ask about school, sport or anything else. As parents we must show interest in what our children do; the digital universe is no exception to this important rule.
From time to time, explain with examples how one should behave online: avoid ridicule, arguments, and excessive self-exposure. The Internet is not the place to go to vent or quarrel.

Conversely, we strongly advise against investigating inside your children’s smartphone, especially secretly: this violates the first rule mentioned above and, above all, violates principles of loyalty and trust that are then difficult to rebuild.

Let us be realistic: a large proportion of parents do not respect these rules on “their own” smartphone.
Educating our children about digital life first of all means educating ourselves, the first generation of “digital parents”.

Do you find these rules too complex? Do you need help or more guidance? Is the situation becoming critical? We invite you to explore the “Generazioni Connesse” digital space.

Among the many pieces of information and services provided there is a “help on line” listening service, the excellent “i super errori” section and the “Safer Internet Centre” from which it all originates:

The Safer Internet Centre (also known as SIC) was created to provide information, advice and support to children, young people, parents, teachers and educators who have experiences, including problematic ones, connected with the Internet, and to facilitate the reporting of illegal material online.

Internet dependence is a serious problem, a very serious one. A mass phenomenon that must not be treated with indifference.

The concept we want to spread through this simple article is that good use of the Internet is not self-taught; it must be taught, day by day.

We know it is difficult, but in 2021 it is necessary to be good parents both in the real world and, equally, in World 2.0.

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